Friday, April 07, 2006

What I know for sure

Things that help make me feel better:
1. Exercise that kicks my ass and makes me struggle to breathe
2. My forehead on a yoga mat in child's pose
3. Where the Wild Things Are, Eloise, books about Olivia the pig, Goodnight Moon, The Velveteen Rabbit
4. Dylan's Blonde on Blonde, Bruce Springsteen, Wilco, and 100.1 FM while I'm tooling around town in Nashville with the windows down
5. The real estate section of the Sunday Times, along with the Modern Love column in the Styles section (and, though this is a secret of shameful proportions, also the occasional Vows column and how they met description in the wedding announcements)
6. opening my mailbox to find magazines: New York, the New Yorker, Southern Living, O, and Audubon
7. Marc Chagall paintings
8. cappuccinos with whole milk and a piece of melting chocolate at the bottom
9. my old leather jacket
10. having a pink cheek glow, fresh from a run or fresh out of bed
11. poems by Galway Kinnel and Marie Howe
12. The Boys of my Youth by Jo Ann Beard
13. paperback mysteries, crossword puzzles, and cookbook photographs
14. Fresca
15. talking to my sisters
16. getting eighth grade Peter to participate during class, even if I don't understand what he's talking about and I've never seen him write on anything but the desk
17. Phoebe's French bulldog Guinness
18. writing every day
19. wearing Robert's shirts and boxers around the apartment
20. having cleaned my bathroom, changed my sheets, washed the dishes and the floor, vacuumed, dropped off laundry, and taken out the trash -- and knowing I don't have to do it again for a week
21. pedicures
22. holding baby Marley during yoga class
23. blowing bubbles with Extra Sugar-free gum
24. coming outside to find that my car is still there and I have not received another $75 parking ticket
25. sour cherry muffins, carrot cake, sausage, Monte D'Or cheese, frozen grapes, homemade whipped cream, Spanish olives, Diet Coke with lime, spinach salad, carrot apple ginger juice, seltzer water

Things that make me feel worse:
1. sleeping on an airplane
2. not sleeping on an airplane
3. skipping school
4. not writing
5. avoiding people and generally being a total flake
6. more than 2 glasses of wine
7. eating dinner at ten o'clock
8. hearing myself complain
9. not using birth control (and taking pregnancy tests every few months)
10. crumbs in my bed
11. sour cherry muffins, carrot cake, sausage, Monte D'Or cheese, whipped cream, too much coffee, too much anything
12. fear that missing Robert is making me miss out on life
13. conflict with friends
14. feeling, for whatever reason, like I have failed


Blogger camille remarkable said...

shame shame... for these and so many more reasons.
a few months ago i missed you, it has now gone far beyond that. the lack of Sarah is just a state of being now. the sad thing is that i'm certain Robert appreciates so little of it.

12:59 PM  

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